Partnership, love and sexuality

There is probably hardly any psychotherapy in which these three aspects are not addressed. These topics are often the direct subject of therapy. This is because they are central to almost every person's life. No matter what you achieve: wealth, power, prestige- everything remains flat and empty if you don't find any partnership, no love. Even if you get married, but find no happiness and no love, but only arguments and power games in it, you become unhappy and often physically and/or mentally ill.

The symptoms a sick person has may be different. The moment someone wants to seek psychotherapeutic help is often when he or she realisses something essential is missing in his or her life: warmth, trust, affection. The feeling of not being able to change anything, the desire to express love and tenderness, is an essential part of depression.

The quality of a partnership is central to a person's state of mind. But one hesitates to understand relationship problems as an aspect of illness - wouldn't we all have to be in therapy? I don't think there's anyone who's never been heartbroken. So everyone knows how pathetic it can make you feel. Pitiful, but not sick. But what if someone cannot open up to the opposite sex with confidence, for example due to severe trauma, rape, abuse? This may have been a long time ago, but the psychological injuries can cripple people for decades and cause a wide variety of severe psychosomatic illnesses. On this broad spectrum of life experiences one moves in a therapy, from objectively trivial, but subjectively serious up to the serious mental injuries with suicide danger and complex psychosomatic disturbances.

How do I know whether I need therapeutic help?

The most important factor is always the extent of subjective suffering. But: small problems also pass quickly, nothing comforts a broken heart as quickly as new love. For some people this is not so easy because shame and fear paralyse any initiative. Those who never find a longer relationship, who have anxiety before or during sexual contacts, who are severely unhappy and trapped in an unhealthy, perhaps even violent relationship, should ask themselves whether this suffering does not contain an aspect of illness.

There are a number of diseases that occur in connection with partnership problems and sexuality. A variety of sexual problems are considered diseases: anorgasmia, vaginismus, impotence, etc. But also strong abandonment fears or jealousy can have negative effects in relationships and are considered as disease-worthy under the term anxious personality disorder or self insecurity, for example. Substance dependencies can also play a role here.

Relationship problems as a disease?

The quality of a love relationship, of a partnership is central to a person's state of mind. This is immediately visible for everyone. But one hesitates to understand relationship problems as an aspect of illness - wouldn't we all have to be in therapy? "Of course," some psychotherapists say, but "Never!" health insurance companies say.

There is hardly a person who has never had heartache and therefore everyone knows how miserable it can make you feel. Pitiful, but not sick. But what if someone cannot open up to the opposite sex in confidence, for example because of severe trauma, rape or abuse? The act may have been long gone, but the psychological injuries can cripple people for long, even decades and consequently cause the most diverse, severe psychosomatic illnesses.

On this broad spectrum of life experiences one moves in a therapy, from objectively trivial, but subjectively serious up to the serious mental injuries with suicide danger and complex psychosomatic disturbances.

How can one judge whether therapy is needed here? The decisive factor is always the extent of subjective suffering. But: small problems also pass quickly, nothing comforts lovelorn as quickly as a new love. But if, for example, you have never had an intimate relationship at the age of 25, you should get inside yourself.

Those who never find a stable relationship, who have strong fears before or during sexual contacts, who are stuck in an unfree and grievous, perhaps even violent relationship, should ask themselves whether this suffering, no matter how it manifests itself, does not nevertheless contain an aspect of illness.

There are a number of diseases that occur in connection with partnership problems and sexuality. A variety of sexual problems are considered a disease: anorgasmia, vaginismus, impotence, etc. But also strong fears of loss or jealousy can have a very negative effect in relationships and, for example, the term anxious personality disorder or self insecurity can be considered to be worthy of illness. Substance dependencies can also play a role here.

When is therapy necessary?

How can one judge whether therapy is required? The decisive factor is always the extent of subjective suffering. But: small problems also pass quickly, nothing comforts heartbreak as fast as a new love. But if, for example, you have never had an intimate relationship at the age of 25, you may need to reflect on the reasons for this.

Those who never find a long-term relationship, who have strong fears before or during sexual contacts, who are stuck in an unfree and toxic, perhaps even violent relationship, should ask themselves whether this suffering, no matter how it manifests itself, does not nevertheless contain an aspect of illness.

There are a number of diseases that occur in connection with partnership problems and sexuality. A variety of sexual problems are considered a disease: anorgasmia, vaginismus, impotence, etc. But also strong fears of loss or jealousy can have a very negative effect in relationships and, for example, the term anxious personality disorder or self insecurity can be considered to be worthy of illness. Substance dependencies can also play a role here.

Gravity of symptoms

Very, very dependent on the person and the closer circumstances, from trivial to very severe impairment.

Available treatment forms

Cognitive behavioural therapy, deep psychological therapy, analytical therapy (accepted by public health insurance) and all forms of humanistic psychotherapy such as Gestalt therapy and talk therapy, but also psychodrama or hypnotherapy (all not accepted by public health insurance).

The therapeutic relationship of trust and the quality of communication between therapist and patient is of particular importance when dealing with partnership problems and the topic of sexuality.

Duration of treatment

This can vary greatly.

Cost coverage

In the case of clearly diagnosed diseases, in connection with somatic problems, public or private health insurance is responsible. Problems concerning general lifestyle, sexual orientation, or maturation deficits depend on the individual case. A psychotherapeutic consultation is a good way to clarify this question.

Couples therapy must always be paid for by the patient.